The Phillies gave these out at yesterday’s game against the Giants. The figurine features rightfielder Shane Victorino, who—just in case it’s, somehow or other, not clear from the grass skirt and ukulele—is from Hawaii. Despite the obvious kitsch value of the figurines, the Phillies wasted these on kids. The Shane Victorino Hula Figurine isn’t a toy, Phillies! Duh. It’s a commentary on our times. Or something.
So, anyway, since I’m not, er, 14 or under, I’m now reduced to trying to find one of these on eBay.
And, oh, they’re available on eBay. I just have to find a way to get one without spending $100. Ouch. Adding to the value of the figurines, I suppose, was the way Victorino celebrated Shane Victorino Day with a walk-off home run in the bottom of the ninth inning. It was sure an exciting game, and I sort of wish I’d been at the ballpark for it. But I knew it would be too painful to be so close and yet so far from one of those irresistible Victorino figurines.
Pray for me.